


be my first light

by Suicix



Series: seven over seven [12]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Background Poly, Banter, Early Mornings, Fluff, Friendship/Love, M/M, OT7, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 19:30:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15444216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: From elsewhere in the dorm, Jackson can hear the sounds of some of the others starting to get up. It’s a good feeling to be able to get up with them again instead of having to rest, not even able to practice. It’s especially a good feeling to wake up next to Jaebum, to get to speak with him before the day truly begins.





	be my first light

**Author's Note:**

> set during promotions for flight log: arrival in spring 2017. at this point, mark has left to film law of the jungle in new zealand, and jackson has recently returned from taking time out to rest.
> 
> this fic is part of a series set in canon (v late 2016/early 2017 and onwards) through which i hope to write all twenty-one different ships featuring ot7 in the background. hopefully i won't take this long to write the next part? i hope?

Jackson wakes up before his alarm goes off on Friday morning. He doesn’t know what time it is, but he does know one thing: he needs to catch up. He needs to feel like he’s done just as much as everyone else has.

It’s been a few days since he’s been back performing, but the time he spent off sick is still weighing heavy on his mind. Having to take time off was awful – though maybe inevitable, even if Jackson doesn’t like to think it was – and he feels bad about it, especially as now that Mark’s off filming Law of the Jungle, there’ll only be six of them promoting the comeback again.

The situations are different, though – in Jackson’s eyes, at least. Everyone knew that Mark would be going to New Zealand to film the show. That was expected. It wasn’t expected that they’d start the comeback with only six of them as well, and that’s Jackson’s fault. Jackson’s fault for being ill, for not being able to just pull through like he always has.

He knows that everybody else would say that it isn’t his fault. Even now that he’s recovered, he knows that everyone else would tell him that he needs his rest, that he should make the most of every second that he could be spending asleep. But as for now, he’s awake. And being awake means that he doesn’t see any point in lying around doing nothing for much longer. On any other day he’d get out of bed, maybe do some yoga before it’s time to start getting ready. This morning, however, there’s something… preventing that.

Jaebum’s lying next to him on the bed, still asleep, one cheek pressed against a pillow. It squashes his face up, and Jackson can’t help but smile at the sight. It’s cute. Like this, Jaebum’s just as soft as the sheets. Jackson doesn’t want to wake him up by leaving the bed or even just getting out from under the duvet, so he stays put. For now.

It hardly even takes a minute for Jackson to start feeling restless. He sits up as carefully as he can, just to move, just so he isn’t lying down anymore, trying his best not to pull the covers away from Jaebum. He manages it: he slips out from under the sheets and sits back against his pillow, watching Jaebum sleep.

Until Jaebum wakes up too, that is. He hums, and Jackson thinks he’s still sleeping, but the change in Jaebum’s breathing makes it clear that he’s woken up.

“Jackson-ah?” Jaebum’s voice is heavy with sleep and his eyes are barely open. He doesn’t lift his head from the pillow just yet. He just blinks, looking up at Jackson with sleepy eyes as his mouth slowly forms a smile.

“You fell asleep in my bed, so – yeah. It’s me.”

“Jackson-ah,” Jaebum says again, still smiling, wider now, not making Jackson’s name a question this time. “Are you feeling OK today?”

“I’m not sick like I was before, so. Yeah. I’m pretty good. In comparison, I’m great. Even if Mark’s not here because he’s in the jungle.”

“Even if Mark’s not here because he’s in the jungle,” Jaebum repeats, his voice soft. “Do you miss him?”

“Of course I miss him! He’s all the way in New Zealand and we’ll be here performing without him. Why, do you miss him too? Do you regret not going with him like you were offered?”

“I’m needed here,” Jaebum says simply. “I can go another time if they ask me again. There’s nothing to regret. Anyway, I couldn’t leave the rest of you without a leader when we’re already one member down.”

“I think we’d be OK,” Jackson teases. “Jinyoung would do a great job.”

“Jinyoung?” Jaebum raises an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you didn’t say yourself.”

“Well, me too,” Jackson says quickly, “but mostly Jinyoung. I’m glad you’re here, though.”

He really is. The stage would feel so empty with only five of them. It feels empty now, without Mark. It probably felt the same kind of empty when Jackson himself wasn’t there. If they’re down a member, there’ll always be a space that no-one else can fill. Someone else can take the missing person’s lines in a performance, but it never feels like it would do if everyone were there. It never feels the way it should.

“Yeah,” Jaebum says. “But I do miss Mark.” He’s clearly thinking the same thing, and he’s sitting up like Jackson is now but still under the covers. “I miss his bed,” he adds a moment later. “It’s my favourite one. Even better than mine.”

“Well, if you like his bed so much you could’ve slept there,” Jackson says, a little petulant, pouting at Jaebum so Jaebum knows he’s joking.

“He’s not around, and you are.”

“Oh, I see how it is. So I’m second best, huh?”

“No.” Jaebum shuffles a little closer, resting a hand on Jackson’s thigh, steady and sure. “No-one’s second best. No-one _can_ be second best, because no-one’s – well. Because no-one’s first best.”

“You just said Mark’s bed is your favourite!”

“His _bed._ I love you all the same.” Jaebum leans across and kisses Jackson’s cheek. “All six of you.” The words are spoken against Jackson’s skin, Jaebum’s voice caressing his cheek. It makes Jackson feel just as secure as a physical touch does, makes him feel wanted and needed and loved.

“Yeah,” he says when Jaebum moves back. “I love all six of you too.”

“Especially me.” Jaebum’s grinning.

“Especially – what?” Jackson stops himself from mindlessly echoing _especially you_ back at Jaebum just in time. “You can’t try and make me say that after you just said you love us all the same! You can’t!”

“But I did.”

Jackson shakes his head. “No, Jaebum. No.”

“Jaebum-hyung,” Jaebum corrects him, and Jackson makes a face at him. “It’s Jaebum-hyung.”

“Fine, Jaebum-hyung.” Jackson takes his time saying it, slowly savouring every syllable like he knows Jaebum wants him to. “Better?”

“Better.”

“I still don’t get why it’s such a big deal, it’s only two months–”

“Mm, I think it’s closer to three months than two.”

“But even then it’s still nothing, like–”

Jackson’s interrupted by the alarm on his phone finally going off, throwing him off his train of thought entirely.

“Time to get up,” Jaebum says, getting himself out from under the duvet. He looks triumphant, somehow: there’s a playful glimmer in his eye like he’s won something. (Jackson can’t help but wish he’d got to see that look on Jaebum’s face at the end of a music show this promotion cycle. Four wins, and he couldn’t be there for any of them. Still. They won, even if he couldn’t be there for it.)

Jackson reaches over to the nightstand to shut off the alarm. He can’t be thinking about that. They’ve got Music Bank today, and then other schedules on top of that. That’s what he should be thinking about: today’s schedules and the rest of the comeback. Not what’s already happened, what can’t be changed. The present and the future, not the past.

“It’s good to have you back.” Jaebum says it like he means it, and then leans across to press the briefest of kisses to Jackson’s mouth before getting off the bed and heading to his own room to get ready for the day.

Jackson watches him go, watches as he quietly closes the door behind him, and then gets out of bed himself. From elsewhere in the dorm, he can hear the sounds of some of the others starting to get up. It’s a good feeling to be able to get up with them again instead of having to rest, not even able to practice. It’s especially a good feeling to wake up next to Jaebum, to get to speak with him before the day truly begins.

It’s like Jaebum said: it’s good to be back.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading, everyone! you can also find me on tumblr @ vibetechs, and on twitter @gotsevenses


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